How “much” must a husband love his wife? Paul will answer our question, as he wrote: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph. 5:25). Husbands really need to think deeply, as they study this verse. The love the husband is to have for his wife, “even as Christ also loved the church.” How many husbands even think about this as the preacher stands before the man who will be the husband and the woman who will be the wife, who is getting married? Many a man has said to the woman he desires to be his wife, “I love you!” But he is not even aware of the words Paul wrote: “even as Christ also loved the church.” Just how much love was that, that Jesus loved the church?
Paul, when addressing the elders of the church in Ephesus, said this: “Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood” (Acts 20:28). This is a beautiful verse, but it is more than beautiful! It has the “blood” of Jesus within it. He, in his “love” for the “church” “purchased” her “with his own blood.” There is the love that Christ had for the church; thus, this is how much love the husband is to love his wife! Maybe the preacher, or whoever is joining the man and woman is marriage, should stop his words and ask the man, “Do you love this woman you are taking in marriage enough to die for her? How many men might turn and walk away from the woman? No, few if any men whould turn and walk away. Why? Because they have never thought about such love; they would just answer the question with a “Yes,” having no idea to what they have really said. If the preacher, would stop and ask the man this question then, before the man could answer, the preacher would give a short lesson on this kind of love. Then, tell the man, if you do not truly love this woman, that much, you are not ready for marriage!
You know, Paul never said that the woman, who is the wife, is to love her husband. No, he said about the woman: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22). The Greek word translated “submit” is “hypostases” and means: “to subordinate; reflexively to obey: – be under obedience” (Strong). Before continuing, it is my thinking, that this whole idea of the wife being “subordinate” to the husband is most objectional in today’s world. What was common a hundred year ago, sets the “world on fire” today! Do you know why the “wife” will “submit” to her husband? Because she loves him! One more verse just here; as Paul continued: “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (verse 24). Why would any woman be willing to “submit” to the man who is going to be her husband, it is because she loves him? Many a woman who is getting married, has never even had one thought about “submitting” to the man she is getting married to. Oh, she has said to him, “I love you,” and has done so many times. I do think the women, more than likely, have given more thought about loving this man who she hopes will be her husband than do men. It may be the nature of women to do so! She is even more prone to say, “I love you,” more than the man. On the other hand, some men use the word “love” almost as a threat! As in, “I love you,” therefore, you had better obey me! Those words never are an expression of love!
As the family generally has a child or more, let us turn our attention to parents and children. Noting first, Paul’s words: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Eph. 6:1). It is a matter of authority, that a child is to obey the parents! Authority must be viewed as what is for the betterment of the child, however. Never is “love” used tyrannical; as a man may do, who has no right to even be a parent, father! There is something radically wrong with a parent, be the parent male or female, who does not love the child. There is no human more helpless and lovable than a baby, a child. But the world has set their attention on perverting the child today. If the child can be perverted, as in leading them away from respecting and loving the parent, then, they are ready to be turned into a radical, who will rebel from the parent and also the government. Just look at the streets in America!
Yes, “love” always looks at what is best, be it the husband, the wife, or the child, who is being loved! Love is demanding, love is obeying, love is willing, and love always looks for the best! If we can see these points in God’s love for mankind, we should be able to see it in mankind!
Frank R. Williams